it's December 11.

hmm..i just like the number 11. hahaha

a great day with a perfect guy.

wow...never had fun like this for quite a long time. gee! it's a great day.

hmm. it could be a perfect time for my new life and new beginning from my great fall. time for my come back! i admit that i am still overshadow by my past.. i mean my surroundings which keep remind me of my past. i wonder is that counts? and... it's perfect coz i will be away from Kuching for about a month to get over everything..i mean every single thing. it just.. Perfect. To be seriously true. I can't get over whatever i'm facing right now..right here! to be exact...once again. God...i'm still living with my past when i'm still here. can't wait to be far from HERE. just for the need of settling down with my unstable emotions, similar problems over an over again, fake expressions, uncomfortable feelings and..huh. everything.

The time has come for me to run away from everything here. To be far far away. As long as i'm here i couldn't pretend any longer. it's killing me deeply, greatly inside.

Today is a perfect start for sure. out for movie..eating at Kenny Roger's, shopping, kraoke...until 9 pm are sure great funs for an indoor girl like me. hahaha! gosh! love it. the best part is i finished my last paper today! great relief!! Perhaps, Good Girl Gone Wild! not too wild.. hahaha. but what i've done today was totally different from what i used to be. Thanks to a friend of mine. hahaha! great time!

got to go! looking forward for more adventure after this.

2 more days to be out of miseries!!!

i've said what i had to say.

this is what i've kept to myself for months and it's time to let it out here.

well. i'm a loner. no one to talk to.

a perfect stranger.

in this world. in reality. we just have to face it.
we are a perfect stranger.
admit it. that's who we are.

i am a loner. i admit that. i live with that. no fake and lie. no more pretending because I'm living in my own world.

we were born in this world alone and that's how we are going to leave this world. alone. no one by your side.

i am a loner till i met a perfect stranger. someone i barely knew in my entire life. somehow this perfect stranger saved me and let me revealed my true self which has locked up in her own world and never came out. the truth is..i learn to love.

a perfect stranger.
I've never thought I've met someone like you.
so many nights i sit by my window
waiting for someone to sing me his song.
so many dreams i kept deep inside me.
alone in the dark but now you've come along.

a perfect stranger.
who light up my life.
who give me hope to carry on.
who light up my days.
who fills my night with songs.

a perfect stranger.
makes me feel so Lucky to no longer being alone.
peaceful and safe.
to feel the sense of belonging.
the explosion of love
involves the touch of two hearts
create a beautiful sounds
when he says nothing at all.

a perfect stranger.
our story is connected by thousand songs.
so close together and when i'm with you.
so close to feel alive
so close was waiting,
waiting here with you
and now forever i know... all that i want is to hold you so close.
how could i face the faceless day if i should lose you now?

a perfect stranger.
i remembered the first time we met. you stood there with a blank expression.
i saw a perfect stranger.
i remembered when we became friends.
lonely rivers flow to the sea. to the open arms of the sea.
i've known a perfect stranger.
i remembered when we start to love.
we explore thousands of emotions.
we develop a strong connection.
we start every journey side by side.
in you i see a friend that never let go.
a faithful companion that stood by me.
everyday is a gift. every second is a long wait.
i truly love a perfect stranger.

a perfect stranger.
the faceless day came.
dreams had to stop.
hope. i lost it in time.
slowly i crept into my own world back.
it has now been locked.
every drop of tears are only the cure for every missing parts of my broken heart.
somehow...i lost in my own world.
finding you in my memories.
there. i found my smile back. if only when i'm thinking of you.
i'm no longer myself. i'm becoming my old self back.

a perfect stranger.
i'm drowned in my own thoughts. no one to pull me just like you always did.
i'm finding my way back to love.
u left.
that's the end of our story.
the end of my hopes and dreams.

a perfect stranger.
we met as two perfect strangers
and end up being a perfect stranger.

please never forget me as you always close to my heart everyday.

a perfect stranger.
you're the pain.
you're the cure.
you are the best things that ever happen to me.
i could never had a single piece of hate in me.

and this is my last goodbye.
till we meet again as
a perfect stranger.

my heart will go on.

missing...

empty.
emptiness.
the world of fake and lie.
the sorrow that lies behind the beauty of the smile.
night.
cry in loneliness.
finding the missing part of a broken heart.
waiting.
will you ever smile to me again?

definisi cinta

cinta tak semestinya dimiliki
kerana bila dimiliki ada hati yang dilukai.
sedangkan cinta seharusnya menyayangi.
ku lepaskan dirimu kerana ku ingin menyayangi dan
tidak mahu menyakiti dirimu lagi.

maafkan saya.

assalammualaikum.

saya harap awak baca post ni.

maafkan saya kerana selama ni saya ingat saya telah membahagiakan awak. membuat awak ketawa dan tersenyum. membuatkan awak gembira. rupa-rupanya kehadiran saya adalah suatu duka. sengsara yang mengundang sehingga menyebabkan hati awak hancur.

tapi saya nak awak tau...awaklah perkara yang terbaik pernah berlaku dalam hidup saya. terima kasih kerana memberi peluang kepada saya untuk menyayangi dan disayangi walaupun di pihak awak hanya kedukaan. terima kasih atas persahabatan yang awak hulurkan.

saya sayangkan awak.
hari ini.
semalam.
esok.
hari-hari.
sampai menutup mata.

cinta tak seharusnya dimiliki. jadi saya lepaskan awak supaya awak bahagia. saya akan jaga perasaan ini dan terus berjalan menyimpan segala memori kita...
tanpa awak menggenggam erat tangan saya lagi...

saya doakan awak bahagia.

maafkan saya, 'budak jahat'.

Yahoo!

Juz want to let everyone know, not to show off but juz very proud of
my own efforts
and
long wait..

Aku JOHAN Pidato!!
(pidato piala diraja bahagian kuching)

Muahahahahah!!!!!

Just to announce...

I'm In LOVE!

Bingung kepalaku..!!!!!

Kepalaku bingung!!!!! Aiyoooo~~~~~
huhu..!! uhuk! uhuk! uhuk!

Tajuk je senang tapi perah otak kepala memikirkanny?????
Mati aku! Mati aku!!

Huuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Kan ku gagahkan jua menulis pidato ini!!!!

perlu kamu

Saat ini
Ku cerita
Isi hati segala rahsia
Aku rindu
Aku perlu
Hati kamu terukir namaku

Aku tahu
Aku rindu
Aku perlu mengenali kamu
Biar masa bercerita
Kau takkan hilang aku sayang

Ku sedari saat manis ni kan pergi
Biar aku ngerti
Kerna aku mahu kamu

Ku ulangi kau yakini hati ini
Kerna aku cinta kamu
Hari hari aku
Kan menjadi hari kamu
Kerna syarat hidup
Disayangi…

Biar nyata
Aku setia
Janji cinta tentunya berbeda
Maafkan lah salah kita
Biar benci
Ku tetap di sisi

Chorus :

Ku sadari saat manis ni kan pergi
Biar aku ngerti
Kerna aku mahu kamu

Ku ulangi kau yakini hati ini
Kerna aku cinta kamu
Hari hari aku
Kan menjadi hari kamu
Kerna syarat hidup….

Aku perlu
Aku rindu.

-end-

The diary of a girl.

A moment has turn into minutes and hours. days and night. and it has been a week.

and for the first time, i choose to write what my twisted mind speaks.

i knew i did wrong but my mind stop me from saying it. i want to try but my pride won't let me do it. when i start to think, i feel pain and sorrow. so i start to walk away with that blank expression everyday of my life like noting is happen to me and i know i'm strong enough to do this.

Yes. you may think i'm ego.
Yes. you may think i'm selfish.
Yes. you may think i'm a fugitive. running away from my problems.
Yes. you may think i'm heartless.
You may. coz that's what i a m.
So, congrats to you!
You're definitely right about me... my big applause to all of you out there!!!

But only this girl knew what she felt but could never understand what her heart speaks and never knew what she want. she is just to little too busy with "queen of pride". herself.

speak what you want to speak now.
this girl won't stop losing her grip.

What she has done?

this really come from her heart. she would do whatever it takes for someone for one reason. the reason that she could never define. and that's her. she never asked for anything just that someone's attention, patience, and ...

but maybe that someone was right. she wanted that someone to be a person she wanted that someone to be. thanks for telling me that and you're once again right bout her. claps!!!

attention everyone. i'm not in the mood to write now.
i was never right in my life.
so, what are you waiting for?
just think what you want to think.
speaks what your mind say.

because..that girl will still remain that same blank expressions.
nothing going to strike her.

Going to Ummi's house!

Today i'll be going there.

My things-to-do list next:

> Get ready with the best look and of course for my sweet charming "=_0" hehehe...friend.
> Pick-up that 15-year-old to be boy.
> Pick-up Alam ^_^
> SMILE with my best smile for UMMI!!!
> Enjoy myself!!!

Sayang Ummi!

Cupcake fever!

I don't know why lately people are so crazy about cupcake!!!

New Fever perhaps.. I don't know in other places but here, everyone seemed to fall deeply in love with cupcake! How strange is that?

I admit that:
it's cute!
it's lovely!
it's sweet!
Although, i'm not that "crazy" about it but still it caught my attention.
CUPCAKE FEVER!!!!

Te first time i ate one was during ICT workshop at my school. Syam brought it. Her sister made it. It's really cute and I absolutely want to eat it...because.. I like sweet thing and that cupcake sure look sweet and yummy though! hahahaha!! I'm sure acting like a 4-year-old kid licking the icing on my fingertips and around my mouth! hahaha!! the taste just nice!

Well, everyone like it i guess? everyone is attracted to cupcake. i wonder when this season ends and what's the new season or fever going to be? huh? ^_^

A message from a friend.

Just read this and understand.

They love you but they are not your lover.
They care for you but they are not from your family.
They are ready to share your pain but they are not in your blood relation.

They are FRIENDS!
True friends...
Scold like a DAD.
Care like a MOM.
Teases like a SISTER.
Irritates like a BROTHER.

And finally..

Loves you more than your LOVER.

A friend of mine sent me this message early this morning. Thank u. If you really dedicated this to me and mean it with all your hearts and soul i let you know back that you're a true friends of mind.

Sometimes, i just forgot to look around me to realize i got all the loves I need. from all of you.
This relation, our relation, is a strong bond that connects us in the chain of friendship. We became friends in a second and let be friends forever. Only we know how special this relationship is.

But MUFFINS, if i'm gone, lost in a my own strange path that you all never going to undertand even myself don't. i just need time of my own and please never stop having faith in me that i'll be back someday. i will.
but i promise you, this chain will never break.

i love you so much.

Happy Birthday Umi!

Happy Birthday, Ummi Sayang..

Just let you know that I Love You so much even if you don't believe it but it's so truly I am.
hehehe!!

Hope you'll be happy always and please remember that you always have me to stand by your side. I Love You and i really hope we'll be friend forever and ever.

From all of us with lots and lots of love!

Sorry.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.
What's the matter of saying "I'm Sorry"??
It Just a simple word but does it means something?

I have problem with that. Don't you guys think it's too simple to say "I'm Sorry"?
It's so simple! Does it means something if you said you're sorry???

I still can't understand this.
After all we've done, the worst, terrible deeds you're ever done to someone...

Do you think it's worth to say a simple word as
"I'm Sorry"?

Is not that I won't say I'm Sorry.

My points is, what does "sorry" means...
if you keep repeating the same mistake over and over again.

Can "sorry" replace everything that people lose because of us, our words that hurt others, the people you kill, or maybe take back the moment of humiliation and unforgivable?

SOMEONE!!!!! ANSWER THIS TWISTED MIND!!

What's the power of saying "I'm Sorry"?

And...

Will they forgive us?

Juz came back from KL

Lots of stuff to tell in a short period of time.

I've no time to be very detail with my story but overall trip is very fun!
New experience, though. Meeting someone new. Kind of exciting for me.

So, back to school tomorrow. Chow!

i still remember those old days when we were together in a class.
now we are not.
i'm glad that mia and i still in the same class.
but i know the bond between us will never ever fade.

Friends forever.

to MIZAN!!!

Internet ku dah bagus dah oiiii~~~~~

Muahahahahahaha!!! balit skolah gik kau!!!
Aku online kat rumah!!!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my Best'est' friend!!!

Make a wish!
and i'll be there....hehehehe!! :)

Happy New Year

I think is never too late to say Happy New Year to everybody right?

So, Happy New Year!!!

Hmm..it's been a busy and hectic life for the past few weeks. Orientation and re-orientation programme in school. Tuitions. Thank God i don't have my homeworks are not overloaded yet..and... the best part is: I can finish my homework on time!! Yay!! Hehehehe~~ some improvements this year huh? Rather than doesn't submit anything just like last year.. hahahaha!!!

Form 1 Orientation Programme is still going on and will finish tomorrow. It'f Fun!!! Woohooo!!! I like the dance part. Chicken Dance + Hearts and mind Dance = Pococ-poco! You can say if I'm over reacting. Boohoo!! who cares?

I miss my brother!!!!!!

Wan!!! Balit gik kau!!!

Aku boring gilababeng tok!!!!!

Aku mok kau!!!

Aku nengok disc rugby jak kotan rindu ngan kau gilak!!!!

huhuuuu~~~

I want to be the very best this year!!!

I'm a straight 11A1! candidate! :)